We are More Important Than the People We Deem Important
Many a times, we arrive at situations that compel us to think if people around us would approve of our decisions. Will Nikki like the way I've wrapped her birthday gift? Will Dev like the way I've done my hair today?
The 'Nikki's and 'Dev's of our lives govern our resultant behaviour and it's quite strange how we belittle ourselves and let others affect our thinking.
Isn't this a form of loose neocolonialism? Aren't we slaves of other people, not physically but mentally? Shouldn't Nikki notice the effort you've put in wrapping her gift? Shouldn't Dev like you for how you are as a person and not how you've worn your hair?
We give others so much from our share of power that we forget what it's like to take decisions independently without thinking of others for once. We have forgotten what social autonomy is.
And we become so dependent on others that when they leave, it shakes up our entire being. The whole life you've built up around that person slowly starts crumbling down. Change is the only thing that is constant and to even expect someone to be beside you always is nothing but tomfoolery.
Let me introduce you to a little theory I have seen people and often myself apply:
Upon looking at the diagram above, you can see a difference between a healthy existence and a toxic existence.
Since the "core" is a strong establishment - the foundation - it should only comprise your independent thoughts. The area around the core is of a changing nature and should comprise the people that arrive in your life. The thin line between the two is of a shifting nature with others incorporating some of your aspects in their life and you incorporating some of theirs.
What we have come to learn is that one should revolve one's life around someone that is a part of your life. This is it. "Part of your life" doesn't mean you have to make your life theirs. There's a reason why someone becomes a part of your life and not your life.
Instead of basing the meaning of your life on someone else, take responsibility and control of it. It should be your choice to show others your flaws and imperfections but to hide behind them and not look at your bright side is a mistake you can't correct a lot of times in life. You might be a terrible singer but exceptionally good at writing. Show yourself; someday someone will come by appreciating your poetry but may end up being enamoured by your singing. That day you won't have to change yourself. You'll learn to be important to yourself.
The 'Nikki's and 'Dev's of our lives govern our resultant behaviour and it's quite strange how we belittle ourselves and let others affect our thinking.
Isn't this a form of loose neocolonialism? Aren't we slaves of other people, not physically but mentally? Shouldn't Nikki notice the effort you've put in wrapping her gift? Shouldn't Dev like you for how you are as a person and not how you've worn your hair?
We give others so much from our share of power that we forget what it's like to take decisions independently without thinking of others for once. We have forgotten what social autonomy is.
And we become so dependent on others that when they leave, it shakes up our entire being. The whole life you've built up around that person slowly starts crumbling down. Change is the only thing that is constant and to even expect someone to be beside you always is nothing but tomfoolery.
Let me introduce you to a little theory I have seen people and often myself apply:
Upon looking at the diagram above, you can see a difference between a healthy existence and a toxic existence.
Since the "core" is a strong establishment - the foundation - it should only comprise your independent thoughts. The area around the core is of a changing nature and should comprise the people that arrive in your life. The thin line between the two is of a shifting nature with others incorporating some of your aspects in their life and you incorporating some of theirs.
What we have come to learn is that one should revolve one's life around someone that is a part of your life. This is it. "Part of your life" doesn't mean you have to make your life theirs. There's a reason why someone becomes a part of your life and not your life.
Instead of basing the meaning of your life on someone else, take responsibility and control of it. It should be your choice to show others your flaws and imperfections but to hide behind them and not look at your bright side is a mistake you can't correct a lot of times in life. You might be a terrible singer but exceptionally good at writing. Show yourself; someday someone will come by appreciating your poetry but may end up being enamoured by your singing. That day you won't have to change yourself. You'll learn to be important to yourself.
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